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 6/10/07
NO, JONNY. Not tonight. Not ever. Yes, yes,
yes, the English media have built you up as
the Messiah of English rugby, who, just as
you have so suddenly been resurrected from
the ruined, can now single-handedly raise
the whole English team from the dead, and
beat the Wallabies in the quarter-finals in
Marseilles. But you know that is not true!
For nothing can undo the deal that was done
with the Great God of Rugby! Let me remind
you.
It was on the eve of the World Cup Final in
2003 when England coach Clive Woodward
visited you in your hotel room to go over,
one last time, your role in the English
team's two principal tactics - the up, and
the under. You and Clive were so nervous
about facing the Wallabies the following
evening that you thought a few prayers on
your knees might help. And suddenly, direct
from heaven, The Voice of the Great God of
Rugby boomed.
"I will," He said, "grant you a win over the
Wallabies, right at the death - even though
that is against nature - but you will pay
with a pound of flesh. You, Clive, will
barely ever coach another winning team
again, and will soon stand down as coach.
And you, Jonny, will be so perpetually
injured hereafter that you won't play
another Test for over three years. And even
when you return, you will never have another
win remotely like the one I will organise
tomorrow night. Do you both agree?"
You will recall that you and Clive both
solemnly made that vow, sworn on the holy
skull of your ancestors, and the ghost of so
many defeats past. And so it was done. And
so it has come to pass. And nothing you can
now say, nothing you can now do, can undo
that deal.
Go well tonight in Marseilles against the
Wallabies. Even try to make a game of it, if
you must. But do not, for one second,
imagine that you can guide the English to a
win. The best you can hope for is to do what
so many English sporting teams have done so
well over the years - lose with dignity.
Everyone's invited
The major lesson of the Rugby World Cup so
far? It is that if all of the world's rugby
strength was put on either end of a see-saw,
then the southern hemisphere would be like
an elephant on one end, and the northern
hemisphere like a rather emaciated chicken
on the other.
For the surprise teams of the tournament so
far have been Argentina, Fiji and even
Tonga, while the disappointments have been
Ireland, France, Wales and England. The once
mighty Six Nations is looking rather sickly,
while the Tri Nations & Friends are the ones
who are making waves.
This surely presents a great opportunity to
move on from both the Tri Nations and Super
14, both of which have become rather stale
in recent times. Is there really still the
appetite out there to see the Wallabies play
South Africa twice a year, every year, and
the All Blacks three times? Why not widen
it?
For starters, get Argentina, Fiji and Tonga
involved in an expanded Super 14, possibly
including Japan. Then, with the commensurate
increase in standards and experience of
players from those countries, so too would
their international teams expand, and
international rugby could finally, fully,
break free of the long-time equation which
had it that Six Nations + Tri Nations =
Everybody.
PETER FITZSIMONS -
Sydney Morning Herald | Saturday, 6
October 2007 |
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